Time Out: A Tool, or a Weapon?

Disciplining children is a challenge for every parent and childhood educator. After all, it is the adult’s duty to see that children are loved and nurtured. Unfortunately, the cherubic legions of little ones (and older children) that are being nurtured sometimes misbehave. One of the most popular ways to deal with bad behavior has become to use “Time- Out.â€?

But what is a Time-Out? If it’s so effective, why doesn’t it solve behavioral problems more quickly? Why do children sometimes come away from Time-Out and return to the same bad behavior they had just been punished for?

Dr. Glenn Latham, author of “The Power of Positive Parenting,� has the answer. Time-Out is a shortened phrase. The full text is “Time-Out from positive reinforcement.� This indicates that it is a time where a child is removed from a healthy educational or home atmosphere and their actions are not rewarded while they are in “Time-Out.� Dr. Latham explains that if a child returns to their negative behavior soon after the Time-Out punishment, then something in Time-Out has been reinforcing the child’s bad behavior.

Effective Tips for Time-Out

Below are some check points to ensure that Time-Out is effectively discouraging bad behavior. Reviewing these points may help your child’s Time-Outs accomplish their purpose.

1) Is “Time-Out� in a positively reinforcing place? Dr. Latham mentions one young man in elementary school was sent to the Time-Out desk by the principles office early each morning. While there, he received a pat on the head from the principle, a sucker from the secretary, and was free to quietly draw independent of the teachers instructions. His Time-Out was exactly where he wanted to be, so he repeated bad behavior over and over again to get there.

2) Is “Time-Out� overused? A child who is constantly in Time-Out may no longer care if he or she is being punished because they have become accustomed to it. Time-Out should be used to stop serious behaviors like hitting, yelling, or intentional disobedience. Other age typical or annoying behaviors are best ignored. Time-Out should also be used calmly, as parental emotion may unintentionally reinforce bad behavior.

3) Is “Time-Out� consistent? A parent or teacher may not want to send a child to Time-Out, trying to be merciful by granting second or third chances. If Time-Out is to be effective, a child must know what behavior will send them there and a parent must be sure that it is an absolute consequence. If Jimmy knows that for every time he pushes Sally he will unfailingly go to Time-Out, he will be discouraged. If he thinks that pushing Sally may or may not send him to Time-Out depending on a parents mood, he will test his behavioral boundaries.

4) Does the child return to a positive environment after “Time-Outâ€?? It is important to let the child know that Time-Out has kept them from fun, positive activities and interactions. Dr. Latham has suggested that you try saying something positive, such as “Hi! Welcome back! I want to give you a hug. Let’s try again…â€? as soon as Time-Out is over. Now is the time richly reward even the smallest good behavior with smiles, high-fives, and kind words so the child wants to cooperate and participate.

Reaching the Goal of Good Behavior

If Time-Out is used correctly, the lack of positive reinforcement will help the child to learn how much they miss out on by misbehaving. Time Out also helps give parents, educators, and kids have a chance to reflect and have a fresh start.

Take time to modify your “Time-Out” approach so that it is sending the right message to your child. Remember that the ultimate goal is not to punish your children, but to help them to never need to be punished again. Eventually, as you build trust through love, discipline, and consistency, your child will learn to act in a way which you have taught as acceptable. You will find a happier child, and a happier home.

Similar Articles:


• Communication Blues = Terrible Two’s
• Consequences: Following Through
• Playtime- Eliminate Negative Behavior
• Stand Your Ground: Don’t Give in to Tantrums
• Leaving Daddy Home…
• Hylands Homeopathic Teething Tablets
• Toilet Training in a Day
• Part Three - A Good Night’s Rest
• Reading Aloud To Your Children
• Explain Everything!

Time Out: A Tool, or a Weapon?

Disciplining children is a challenge for every parent and childhood educator. After all, it is the adult’s duty to see that children are loved and nurtured. Unfortunately, the cherubic legions of little ones (and older children) that are being nurtured sometimes misbehave. One of the most popular ways to deal with bad behavior has become to use “Time- Out.â€?

But what is a Time-Out? If it’s so effective, why doesn’t it solve behavioral problems more quickly? Why do children sometimes come away from Time-Out and return to the same bad behavior they had just been punished for?

Dr. Glenn Latham, author of “The Power of Positive Parenting,� has the answer. Time-Out is a shortened phrase. The full text is “Time-Out from positive reinforcement.� This indicates that it is a time where a child is removed from a healthy educational or home atmosphere and their actions are not rewarded while they are in “Time-Out.� Dr. Latham explains that if a child returns to their negative behavior soon after the Time-Out punishment, then something in Time-Out has been reinforcing the child’s bad behavior.

Effective Tips for Time-Out

Below are some check points to ensure that Time-Out is effectively discouraging bad behavior. Reviewing these points may help your child’s Time-Outs accomplish their purpose.

1) Is “Time-Out� in a positively reinforcing place? Dr. Latham mentions one young man in elementary school was sent to the Time-Out desk by the principles office early each morning. While there, he received a pat on the head from the principle, a sucker from the secretary, and was free to quietly draw independent of the teachers instructions. His Time-Out was exactly where he wanted to be, so he repeated bad behavior over and over again to get there.

2) Is “Time-Out� overused? A child who is constantly in Time-Out may no longer care if he or she is being punished because they have become accustomed to it. Time-Out should be used to stop serious behaviors like hitting, yelling, or intentional disobedience. Other age typical or annoying behaviors are best ignored. Time-Out should also be used calmly, as parental emotion may unintentionally reinforce bad behavior.

3) Is “Time-Out� consistent? A parent or teacher may not want to send a child to Time-Out, trying to be merciful by granting second or third chances. If Time-Out is to be effective, a child must know what behavior will send them there and a parent must be sure that it is an absolute consequence. If Jimmy knows that for every time he pushes Sally he will unfailingly go to Time-Out, he will be discouraged. If he thinks that pushing Sally may or may not send him to Time-Out depending on a parents mood, he will test his behavioral boundaries.

4) Does the child return to a positive environment after “Time-Outâ€?? It is important to let the child know that Time-Out has kept them from fun, positive activities and interactions. Dr. Latham has suggested that you try saying something positive, such as “Hi! Welcome back! I want to give you a hug. Let’s try again…â€? as soon as Time-Out is over. Now is the time richly reward even the smallest good behavior with smiles, high-fives, and kind words so the child wants to cooperate and participate.

Reaching the Goal of Good Behavior

If Time-Out is used correctly, the lack of positive reinforcement will help the child to learn how much they miss out on by misbehaving. Time Out also helps give parents, educators, and kids have a chance to reflect and have a fresh start.

Take time to modify your “Time-Out” approach so that it is sending the right message to your child. Remember that the ultimate goal is not to punish your children, but to help them to never need to be punished again. Eventually, as you build trust through love, discipline, and consistency, your child will learn to act in a way which you have taught as acceptable. You will find a happier child, and a happier home.

Similar Articles:

• Communication Blues = Terrible Two’s
• Consequences: Following Through
• Playtime- Eliminate Negative Behavior
• Stand Your Ground: Don’t Give in to Tantrums
• Leaving Daddy Home…
• Hylands Homeopathic Teething Tablets
• Toilet Training in a Day
• Part Three - A Good Night’s Rest
• Reading Aloud To Your Children
• Explain Everything!