Lashing Out or Reaching Out?

My daughter was 20 months old when her brother was born.  Her initial reaction to him was to stick out her tongue and push him off of my lap.  As the weeks went by, our home became a baby war-zone.  My crying infant would be begging for rest, comfort and food as his sister tried to rip him from my arms, sit on him, or do whatever else was necessary to take the focus off of him and back to herself.

During this time, I found my toddler becoming increasingly demanding and emotional.  She found new ways to get my attention (throwing things, shrieking, hitting, etc).  I fell into the trap of getting angry because of her outbursts.  I found myself almost constantly telling her “No! Don’t do that! Stop!�?  All these negative instructions seemed to make her more determined to oust her brother.

Another Mother to the Rescue

Luckily, I found an article by another young mother who had behavioral problems with her daughter and solved them by spending a little time playing around with her, one on one.  Her little girl was begging for interaction with Mom and she got it by acting out.  This mother got the idea to counter the negativity by taking 5 or 10 minutes of each hour to play with her little girl.  She reported that the process worked, and greatly improved the behavior of her daughter.

Getting Through

Desperate to find a solution to this newfound form of behavioral expression, I decided to try this out for myself, and see if it really would work. It was magic. Almost instantly, the problematic behavior stopped. It quickly became clear that taking 5-15 minutes out of every few hours helped my daughter to feel that she was important enough to me, and she soon forgot her need to lash out for attention.  I found she began to give me cues -like cuddling or reaching for me- when she needed that special attention.  That was her sign to me that she was ready to do something together. 

We read books, played with toys, took a walk, or sometimes we would just hug and talk.  After our visit, I could easily direct her to her book shelf, a snack, or a game, and I could carry on with my day.  Miraculously, the negative outbursts stopped. We all feel more happy and secure because of the time we spend one-on-one. A little bit of playtime has made our house feel like home again.

Similar Articles:


• Consequences: Following Through
• Time-Out From Positive Reinforcement
• Stand Your Ground: Don’t Give in to Tantrums
• Hylands Homeopathic Teething Tablets
• Part Two - Three Steps to Sleep
• Explain Everything!
• Finding the Right Pediatrician
• Newborn’s Tears- The Why’s of Infant Cries
• Take Time to Sign
• Leaving Daddy Home…

Lashing Out or Reaching Out?

My daughter was 20 months old when her brother was born.  Her initial reaction to him was to stick out her tongue and push him off of my lap.  As the weeks went by, our home became a baby war-zone.  My crying infant would be begging for rest, comfort and food as his sister tried to rip him from my arms, sit on him, or do whatever else was necessary to take the focus off of him and back to herself.

During this time, I found my toddler becoming increasingly demanding and emotional.  She found new ways to get my attention (throwing things, shrieking, hitting, etc).  I fell into the trap of getting angry because of her outbursts.  I found myself almost constantly telling her “No! Don’t do that! Stop!�?  All these negative instructions seemed to make her more determined to oust her brother.

Another Mother to the Rescue

Luckily, I found an article by another young mother who had behavioral problems with her daughter and solved them by spending a little time playing around with her, one on one.  Her little girl was begging for interaction with Mom and she got it by acting out.  This mother got the idea to counter the negativity by taking 5 or 10 minutes of each hour to play with her little girl.  She reported that the process worked, and greatly improved the behavior of her daughter.

Getting Through

Desperate to find a solution to this newfound form of behavioral expression, I decided to try this out for myself, and see if it really would work. It was magic. Almost instantly, the problematic behavior stopped. It quickly became clear that taking 5-15 minutes out of every few hours helped my daughter to feel that she was important enough to me, and she soon forgot her need to lash out for attention.  I found she began to give me cues -like cuddling or reaching for me- when she needed that special attention.  That was her sign to me that she was ready to do something together. 

We read books, played with toys, took a walk, or sometimes we would just hug and talk.  After our visit, I could easily direct her to her book shelf, a snack, or a game, and I could carry on with my day.  Miraculously, the negative outbursts stopped. We all feel more happy and secure because of the time we spend one-on-one. A little bit of playtime has made our house feel like home again.

Similar Articles:

• Consequences: Following Through
• Time-Out From Positive Reinforcement
• Stand Your Ground: Don’t Give in to Tantrums
• Hylands Homeopathic Teething Tablets
• Part Two - Three Steps to Sleep
• Explain Everything!
• Finding the Right Pediatrician
• Newborn’s Tears- The Why’s of Infant Cries
• Take Time to Sign
• Leaving Daddy Home…