Communication Blues = Terrible Two’s

Understanding the Terrible Two’s

You can’t really blame parents for calling age 18 months to three years “the Terrible Two’s.�  It is such a wonderful and trying age.  This year is pivotal in a child’s development.  They begin to walk, talk and discover how the world works.  They also begin to see the value of independence and to how to assert that independence.

My pediatrician father-in-law observed that this age can seem especially terrible because of the lack of verbal skills.  At age 18 months, many children know what they want, but they simply cannot express it in words.  That’s what makes the age so difficult.  Pointing fingers and crying is a rather limited way of expressing one’s opinion.  Understandably, these verbal limitations can be frustrating to both parent and child.

Breaking the Communication Barrier

Behavior expert Dr. Glenn Latham suggests that there are some things that parents can do to help little ones express themselves without crying or throwing tantrums (these behaviors should not be reinforced). 

Since your child probably understands you very well, but is having trouble expressing him or herself, start out by telling them that you don’t understand crying.  Ask them to try pointing, showing you, or using words and gestures.  Baby sign language is an extremely valuable resource at this age because it can assist in communication.  An infant/toddler can remember and repeat signs and gestures much earlier than they can form the words to their message. Some parents even report their children being able to make signs as early as 6-8 months of age, and increased ability in verbal communication soon after.

Keeping Calm is Key

Most importantly, try to remain calm, and also remember to calm your child as you work through the communication block.   Quickly reinforce good communication when your child effectively communicates an appropriate want.  The more you reinforce the positive things a child does, the more these behaviors are repeated. Speech and communication are no exception to this rule of behavioral training.

Of course, there will always be days that will try a parents patience.  Just remember the terrible two’s can be less terrible with a little focused effort on good communication, and that some day your child will go through terrible teens….

“The Power of Postitive Parenting� by Dr. Glenn Latham published by P & T Ink, Logan, UT

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