Explain Everything!

The Elaborate Setup

My mom herded all seven of us into the van excitedly pronouncing that we were going out for ice cream!  Wow, that never happened, so we knew we must have been really good to warrant such first class treatment.  You can imagine our confusion when we pulled up to our local health department instead.  What we had in store was an afternoon of vaccinations – oh yea, and then that trip to the ice cream parlor. 

We felt almost betrayed by mom.  She had lied to us!  I’m sure the announcement of: “Hey guys it’s time to get shotsâ€? would have resulted in some serious complaints.  However, the follow up statement of:  “And if you’re good we’ll go get ice cream after we’re doneâ€?, definitely would have softened the blow.  We would have known what to expect and would have been able to deal with things much more calmly, and on our own terms.   

The Twist

Ironically enough my mother was with me recently when I took my boys to receive flu shots.  On the drive to the health department I explained to my almost-three-year-old son (34 months) that we were all going to get a shot so we wouldn’t get sick.  I explained to him the process of receiving a shot, and told him as honestly as I could that it hurts for a moment, but then it’s all done. I explained that once finished, he would be given a band aid and a treat. 

I reminded him that he would need to be brave so his younger brother (15 months) wouldn’t be scared.  He looked a little concerned as his little mind processed the information.  I expected some fear.  No one likes to anticipate pain.

The Outcome

We got into the vaccination room and my son was fearless.  I went before him to get my shots to show him how things would go.  Wow, it was done exactly as mom said: shot, band aid, treat.  Imagine that!  My son bravely sat through the process without making a peep.  He smiled at the end and waited for his baby brother to finish.  He was proud at his accomplishment.  Then, the best part, I took him for ice cream.   

Honesty in the information and explanations you give are truly calming for children.  Before everything, (especially new situations), give your children a detailed rundown (to the best of your knowledge) of what they will see, who will be there, how they should behave, etc.  You will begin to see immediate and major improvements in your child’s behavior.  I think we all do better with a little preparation.

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